How to Make a Graceful Exit
People don't quit their job, they quit their boss.
At least according to 74% of respondents to a Gallup survey a few years ago, anyway.
There are many reasons why someone might decide to leave a job. A bad boss is one of them. Poor management of the team or company. Misalignment with values. Too much work. Too little work. Boredom. Lack of progression. Better opportunities elsewhere. Better pay or conditions elsewhere.
Whatever the reason, I think it's important to try to leave gracefully and with professionalism - you never know when you might cross paths with former colleagues in the future. It might be tempting to burn bridges and let your frustrations out but it's rarely going to work out well in the long term.
I'll share with you a few ideas about what you can do to exit with grace and make sure you can both get closure on that part of your life and maintain relationships that you might want to keep in the future.
Decision
Before we get into the process of leaving, I'd encourage you to think carefully about what you're doing. As much as it might be tempting, don't ragequit. Consider your options - what are the reasons behind wanting to move on? Would any of those change if you addressed a particular situation or frustration? Is there any issue with your boss that could be tackled somehow? Could you negotiate a better compensation package? Could you investigate an internal move to a different team?
These might sound like risk-averse questions but changing job can be stressful and in some markets might carry its own risk. For example, if layoffs are happening sometimes the most recent arrivals might get targeted first. Consider your own risk tolerance - do you have a family to provide for, or kids that might have to change school if you relocate?
On the other side of the coin you may just need a change and that might not be an option at your current place. Just remember that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.
Talk to trusted advisors, a mentor, or coach, before you make your final decision - it's helpful to talk it through and make sure your logic is sound.
Whatever you decide, give yourself a few days thinking time before you commit.
Timing
Depending on your country and contract, how much notice you will want or need to give will vary - I've worked in places where 2 weeks is the norm and others where it's 3 months. What you do and when will depend on this - there may be some of these suggestions that you'll want to get started on before you submit your official resignation. Use your judgement and be smart - don't telegraph your departure before you're ready to commit.
Handover
Once you've committed to your resignation, in whatever form is required at that organization, it's time to do handover.
No matter the circumstances of your departure, make sure that you're providing all of the relevant information to whoever you need to give it to. Be as helpful as you can - I know it's tempting not to, but again, think about the long term impact of what you're doing. Work with your boss to create a transition plan, including how and when your departure will be communicated.
Cover off the main areas of responsibility of your role, making sure to close off any contractual obligations too. Some or all of the following topics may be relevant:
Staffing, including reviewing particular individuals, and any challenges, issues, or opportunities
Financial situation - budget status, any ongoing work or issues
Team goals and progress towards them
Stakeholders, including any sensitive relationships that might need extra care
Current project and initiative status and next steps
Anything else that would be helpful
Approach this as if you were the recipient and wanted to get up to speed as quickly as possible. There's a possibility that you may need to be involved in hiring and training a replacement, depending on the timeline and needs. Try to approach this with a spirit of generosity.
Don’t make them stretch for the handover
Experimentation
This is a fun one. If you're a long-time reader you'll know I'm a fan of experimentation in general, and hopefully you've been doing it all along. However, now you can take the opportunity to try some new things before you go, knowing that you don't have to deal with the long term effects.
Obviously I don't mean to leave a trail of destruction in your wake but if you've wanted to try a few new formats for a weekly meeting, give them a go. What have you got to lose?
Relationships
Ideally you've been working on this the whole time you've been in role but this is a good opportunity to reinforce any longer term relationships and build connections for your network going forward. There will be people you want to stay in touch with and this is your time to grab a coffee with them - real or virtual - to maintain those relationships.
Select one or two people that might be helpful to have as mentors as you move into your new role and ask them if they'd mind you reaching out for some support. Usually people find this flattering and hard to refuse. The extra support as you start your new job might come in very handy. For example, if your new role has a greater emphasis on financial responsibility then reach out to a lead finance person and ask if you can pick their brain on occasion.
Closure
Do an exit interview or two - talk to your boss (or their boss) and to HR at least. Prior to these make sure you have a list of constructive feedback to give them. This is not your time to air grievances or vent your frustrations. I've seen that done many times and any valid points are usually lost in the noise. This results in all of the feedback being dismissed as the result of sour grapes.
Try to be helpful and objective. The organization might not take any notice of what you have to say but try your best at least. Maybe something you say will resonate and make a difference.
Appreciation and Exit
Part of moving on is saying goodbye. Make sure you express your appreciation to your colleagues and mentors in the organization. Connect with people on LinkedIn or other networks as appropriate, and provide your contact information. Leave people with a positive impression of you, whatever the reason for your departure.
Preparation
Finally, prepare yourself for your new role. Based on your interviews and the job description, look at where there are any areas where you might want to refresh your skills or research some information. Have a look at my guide to onboarding.
Break
In this day and age it's super common to jump straight from one job to the next. I would strongly advise against this. Particularly in North America, where you may only get 2 weeks of leave in a year, this might be your one opportunity to have a few weeks to travel, spend time with family, or just breathe.
The importance of resetting before moving on to the next thing cannot be overstated.
Enjoy your time off. Let go of the old job and its baggage and start the new one refreshed and revitalised.
Conclusion
Throughout this whole process remember to take care of yourself. This is a stressful time and it's important to make sure you're getting enough rest as you go through transition.
These are my suggestions around transitioning out of one job and towards another. What have I missed? What else would you suggest you do as you leave a job?
When you're ready, I offer 1:1 coaching for leaders who are looking to take their life and career to the next level. Send me an email and we'll set up a time to have a chat.
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