One Way to Build Relationships
As we enter a new year it's natural to get a little philosophical, endings, beginnings, all that jazz.
After my last piece I was mulling on how we can move forward in developing successful relationships in our business lives - after all teams are not families - we are there because we choose to be, not because we have to be. Well, mortgage payments aside, anyway.
I came to the following stunning, mind-blowing, innovative conclusion:
It's critical in business (and life) to be able to build effective relationships.
Duh.
Ok, so for many people, it's not immediately obvious how to do this. So how might we go about it? One possible way is to take a service-based approach.
What does this mean?
This idea is partly inspired by what a client is thinking when they decide whether to work with a particular coach. The client fundamentally wants to know two things:
Do you get me?
Can you help me?
We can turn this around when considering our stakeholders, and approach this from the other direction. (Note I'm going to use the term 'stakeholder' very broadly here - this is your partners, team members, boss, executives, customers, anyone that you might want to develop a relationship with.)
How can we understand our stakeholders and their needs?
What are their key drivers, goals, and objectives?
What does success look like for them?
How can we help them?
Perhaps they want a giant juicy turkey leg
This angle turns it into more of a service-based approach to stakeholder management. What are their key drivers, and how can we help satisfy them? This way, when we need their help in achieving our team's goals, they are more likely to help us - this is known as the reciprocity principle in social psychology.
You could potential argue this is manipulative - after all, you're just giving to get something in return. However, if you're helping a colleague achieve their goals, you're advancing the cause of the organization as a whole.
This is A Good Thing.
It also helps if you're not approaching this purely with a give-to-get attitude. This is about being a good corporate citizen and operating with a big picture thinking philosophy. It shifts us into more of a partner mindset.
If you're new in role or working with new stakeholders it is also a way to quickly build trust, as long as you deliver what you say you will.
Commitment Without Attachment
One way to try to maintain a service mentality is to use an approach of commitment without attachment.
What this means is that you can be committed to others' success without necessarily being attached to the results or to any reciprocity. If there are positive results or reciprocal benefits, great, if not, that's fine too.
Perhaps it's a result of a background in support-related functions in my career, but I believe that businesses will be more successful if we look around to see who we can help in the organization rather than just fighting for our own success. Advocating for a service mentality to stakeholder relationship building can benefit you personally, your team, its relationships, and your organization as a whole in the future.
There's probably something to be said about taking this approach with society at large, now that I mention it...
When you're ready, I offer 1:1 coaching for leaders who are looking to take their life and career to the next level. Send me an email and we'll set up a time to have a chat.
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